I never thought I would be writing this letter. It’s something I have thought about for some time, but just couldn’t bring myself to do it. This is very hard for me, but it’s the right time.

I met you when I was 9 years old. My boys, who were a little older, used to kick it with you in the park. They would sit and listen to you speak for hours on end, taking in every word you had to say. They would say to me “you have to listen to her speak.” Many times they recited your words to me; they had your poems memorized. I wont’ lie, your words were dope. Soon I was there with them, listening to you. Hanging on every word. Finding harmony in your poems.

Your poems were about a life I never knew existed. Even though I never experienced what you talked about, I could feel your emotions as if I had lived it. While many disapproved of what you had to say, more and more were listening to you. It wasn’t long till I fell in love with you. You were the first of the only two loves I would ever know.

We grew up together. Through my teens, you were the only one I would listen to. I would try to learn every one of your poems. Some of my friends would be amazed at how many of them I had memorized. A few laughed at how immersed I would be emotionally when reciting your words. You were with me through most of my firsts, experiencing them together. Through out my teens I found comfort in your words. It didn’t matter what was going on in my life, I always felt like you understood me. I can’t count the hours that I spent alone with you, just listening to you, silently. I still remember this one night. It was a Friday. Me and the boys were a little older. It was my first time drinking. It was dark and late. We were by the jungle gyms. We always hung out there because it was away from the walking path and the lamps. You were there as always, speaking to us. I drank a lot that night. I don’t remember most of it. I do remember your words. I remember how vivid the emotions felt as you spoke. I had never felt them this profoundly; maybe it was the alcohol. I remember reciting along with you; every word as if I had written them. We all did. We didn’t stop, even as we walked home while the sun was coming up.

Through most of my life I always kept current with every one of your new poems. We grew together, matured together, and changed together. As we grew older, so did your audience. You poems were being accepted by the majority rather than the minority. Your popularity was never higher and you were attracting a larger audience. Your poems started to change, the emotions in your words changed. While most of your poems appealed to a broader audience, you still managed to write some for the few of us that had been listening to you from the beginning. Yet, we continued to grow older; continued to grow apart.

Over the last few years I’ve come to realize, your poems are no longer meant for me. They’re for a newer audience, a younger audience. Without realizing it, I started to move on. I still listen to a lot of your new poems, but I would be lying if I told you I felt the same emotion as I did in my younger years. Those you recited to me as I grew up will always be a big part of my life. I still listen to them and even though I have moved on, just remember that I will always love you… Hip Hop.

As for the other love, I’m not ready to write that letter to her.



The hormones and molucles involved in emotion.

The hormones and molucles involved in emotion.


Does love exist? Think about it for a second. No seriously, stop and think about it for a second.

Does it really exist? We know that a car exists, we can see it, touch it, feel it, buy it. Can we see love? Can we taste it? Can we touch it?

So how can we say it truly exists?

I know what you’re going to say, WE CAN FEEL IT? But how do you know what you are feeling is truly love? We’ve been told it’s love by the media by what we watch. But how do they know? Can they prove that this so called feeling is really love? Trust is, they can’t.

Scientifically speaking, love is not even an emotions. It’s actually a chemical and physiological process that occurs in our brain. The process occurs in the deepest core of our brain known as the reptilian brain (caudate nucleus) . Why reptilian brain? The deepest core of our brain is the oldest part of of our brain, which for the most part has stayed the same for the last 65 million years. This is the part of our brain the controls our lurk our darker, primeval, instinctive behaviors of territoriality, mating and reward-seeking.

The feeling of infatuation is caused by the release of a molecule called PEA into the central nervous system. What does this do, well consider it to be a huge geological and meteorological event in your brain equivalent to earthquakes, cyclones, tsunamis happening in your brain. This causes the release of a chemical called dopamine, dopamine is associated with highly targeted attention, stamina, energy, all focused on reward.

PEA and dopamine drown out another chemical called seratonin which is the main chemical responsible for giving us that “in control” feeling. This is why we feel that we are not in control when we are in so called “love”. People with compulsive disorders also have this same low levels of seratonin and are prescribed Prozac.

When you get to that physical aspect of love, the touching, the kissing the sex, another chemical called oxytocin is released in the brain. Think of it as a HUGE fireworks display in your brain. Oxytocin is responsible for that feeling of high during sex, for that orgasim like sensation.

In fact, people who suffer from Autism usually have much lower levels of this chemical called oxytocin.

So then there’s the big question… What happens first? Does being attracted to someone cause these chemical process inside our brain to take place or do these chemical processes in our brain cause us to find someone and think we are in love.

The theory out there right now is called the “attachment theory” which is based on research that states, mate-seeking, reproducing and reward is are primitive aspects of our species. Suggesting that the chemicals are what cause us to do that which is the most primitive to us, find a mate, look for reward.

So scientifically speaking, love is based on physiological and chemical process that are based on primitive instincts of survival from a part of our brain that has remain unchanged for 65 million years. So therefor love is not an emotion and does not exist.